


Read the Box

by kyluxicle (LadyCamillus)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Everything is funny and nothing hurts, M/M, Top Hux, bottom kylo, pregnancy references, this is pure and absolute crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:15:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8742034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCamillus/pseuds/kyluxicle
Summary: Rey and Finn are letting Kylo stay with them while he finds his own place. One night when Hux is over he sees Rey's pregnancy tests and tries it out.





	

Living at Rey and Finn’s house came with quite a few benefits. Because it was a temporary situation with the understanding that Kylo would have enough money saved to rent his own place, they weren't charging him any rent to stay there. It also meant no utilities, minimal cleaning, and someone else cooking dinner for him most nights. If he wasn't so set on having a place to himself, he might consider negotiating a cheap rent to just stay there. As it was though, the privacy of his future apartment would be very appreciated.

  
He and Hux had been dating for about two months now and the walls weren't quite thick enough to hide what either couple got up to in the night. Rey and Finn were trying to have a kid so at least it made sense for them to go at it every night. He and Hux were just horny.

  
Hux's place was even worse though as he was still living with his father. The house was huge and the walls were plenty thick but Kylo got a death glare from his dad every time he stepped over the threshold. Not the most boner conducive environment.

  
This weekend, however, they were in the clear to be as nasty and loud as they wanted because Rey and Finn were on a short camping trip and would be out of the house for the next three days. Kylo's itinerary consisted largely of take out, beer, and sex in their absence.

  
They said their goodbyes Friday afternoon, wishing each other a good weekend, Rey giving them a half joking half serious warning to not destroy the house while they were gone. When the door closed behind them it took approximately five seconds for Kylo to turn to Hux.

  
“Want to fuck me on the couch?”

  
Hux groaned and laughed.

  
“Ren, they're not even out of the driveway yet. We're waiting a half hour before we do anything. What if they forgot something and have to turn back?”

  
Fifteen minutes later Kylo was on his back on the couch with Hux pounding in and out of him.

  
Kylo whined and tightened his ankles around Hux's hips.

  
“F-fuck, Hux, come on. Harder.”

  
Hux growled and snapped his hips forward hard enough to knock Kylo's head against the armrest.

  
“You're always so greedy for it aren't you? Never happy unless you've got something shoved up your tight ass.”

  
Kylo cursed and nodded as he stared up at Hux, panting with each hot spike of pleasure that went through him. Knowing they had the whole weekend to do this, neither of them were trying to drag it out. It was a quick hard fuck for the sake of fucking, and didn't take long for Hux's cock dragging against his prostate to draw Kylo's orgasm from him. He came with a shout, throwing his head back as come spurted onto his stomach. He clenched around Hux and murmured encouragements until he was stilling inside of Kylo with grunt, rocking in and out until he was finished.

  
“You don't have to be quiet now you know,” Kylo said breathily.

  
Hux snorted and pulled out.

  
“Just because you're a screamer doesn't mean everyone else is. Ah shit, the condom broke.”

  
Proving that point, Kylo felt a trickle of cum slip down his ass as Hux stood up and grabbed some kleenex from the end table. Most of it was still in the condom so it wasn't like he was a mess with it, just that bit that had come out at the end.

  
He snorted and said, “Maybe I'll get pregnant before Rey does.”

  
Hux laughed and slapped Kylo's shin with a muttered, “Shut up.”

  
It was a strange sensation to feel the air turn the trail of cum cold against his skin, and he reached between his legs to swipe at it before it could hit the couch. Hux handed him a couple kleenexes to wipe himself up, and as he cleaned off his stomach, Kylo wondered what it would feel like to have Hux come inside of him for real. They were both clean so there wasn't any immediate risk of an STI—Hux had just made it known before that he didn't like making messes so they always used a condom.

  
They cuddled on the couch for a bit after that before Kylo's stomach growled and they broke out the food and drinks. With pizza rolls in the oven, a mindless action movie on the tv, and a cold beer in hand it was shaping up to be a pretty good night.

  
They chatted and drank and had sex on the couch again, this time with Kylo riding Hux reverse cowgirl. By that point Kylo was more than a couple drinks in and started to talk as he rode Hux.

  
“Wanna feel your bare cock in my ass,” he panted as he worked his hips. “Wanna feel you really come inside me and leave me sloppy and dripping. It'd run down my thighs and—ah—it'd be so obvious that you'd ruined me, oh fuck, Hux...”

  
Hux groaned as Kylo clenched around his cock.

  
“Yeah? You want me to wreck you?” he growled back, his hands tight on Kylo's waist, fingers digging into soft flesh. “You like that don't you? You want to be treated like a two dollar whore that I just fuck and ruin and set aside for later. Would you leave it in? Would you want me to shove a plug up your ass so it stays and you know who owns you?”

  
Kylo cried out, Hux's words lacing heat through his veins and leaving him trembling. Hux began thrusting up hard and Kylo came spectacularly, shooting come onto his own chest and then dribbling down his cock as Hux used him to reach his own climax.

  
Kylo felt boneless and sank fully into Hux's cock in his exhaustion, sighing as Hux pressed kisses along his shoulder.

  
“You're so nasty,” Hux muttered placing a kiss below his ear. “You know that right?”

  
Kylo hummed and gave Hux a lopsided smile. “You love it,” he drawled.

  
Hux chuckled and patted his thigh. “Up. I don't wanna let my dick stew in my own jizz.”

  
With an exaggerated groan Kylo got off of Hux and flopped back onto the couch, reaching for his beer.

  
“Don't say shit like that it's gross.”

  
Hux stood up and tied off the condom before leaning down to place a wet kiss on Kylo's forehead, making him scrunch up his nose.

  
“You love it,” he teased.

  
Kylo huffed and shoved him off, laughing as Hux walked off to the bathroom.

  
As the night went on, the drinks kept flowing until Kylo was actually stumbling as he walked to the bathroom to take a piss. He felt pleasant and light and both of them had been laughing about something that he'd already forgotten, but the happiness from the moment was still there.

  
He swayed for a moment as he stood in front of the toilet and looked around the bathroom. Fucking thing looked like a real adult place where a put together normal family lived. Rey and Finn were really pulling it off. They'd be great parents with coordinated decorations and everything.

  
His eyes fell on the box of pregnancy tests that Rey had bought. Only one of them was gone so far and it'd been negative. Curiosity got the better of him and he decided to try one out for shits and giggles. He grabbed it out of the box and undid the individual wrapper. His fingers fumbled with his fly and it took longer than it should've to get it open. He finally got his cock out and started peeing, holding the stick in the stream of it.

  
Nothing happened at first after he'd finished so he tried shaking it like he'd seen people in movies do. The motion of his hand whipping back and forth made him over balance and he braced his hand against the wall to keep from falling. Maybe he should've read the instructions on this thing.

  
And then his heart leapt into his throat before plunging into his stomach as a little blue line appeared on the stick.

  
“WHAT THE FUCK,” he shouted, stumbling back and knocking his elbow on the towel rack which sent a tingling wave of pain down his arm and he shouted another curse.

  
“Kylo?” he heard Hux shout from the living room. “Is everything ok?”

  
“No, everything is not ok!” he shouted back staring at the stick in horror. Why the _fuck_ did it say he was pregnant? This was fucked up, this wasn't ok, he needed to– they needed to–

  
Hux burst into the bathroom then, his face even paler than usual and he looked frantically at Kylo.

  
“What happened? What's wrong?” he asked anxiously.

  
“This!” Kylo shouted holding the pregnancy stick up in Hux's face. “This is what's fucking wrong!”

  
Hux recoiled from the stick and scrunched his nose.

  
“Dude, don't put that in my face it's got piss on it. Why the hell do you have one of Rey's pregnancy tests?”

  
“Because I took it! And look at the fucking read out!”

  
“ _You_ took it? What the fuck, Kylo, why would you–”

  
“Just look at it!” Kylo all but shrieked.

  
Hux glared at him and then finally looked at the little line. One of his eyebrows arched incredulously as he looked from the stick to Kylo. A smile started to play across his lips and then he let out a small laugh. Kylo felt angry and sick how the hell could he laugh at this. It said he was fucking _pregnant_ this wasn't a joke.

  
To Hux it was apparently because his laugh grew and grew until he was howling with it, clutching his sides and falling back against the wall.

  
“Oh my god,” he wheezed. “Kylo, fucking, are you serious?”

  
“Yes I'm serious!” How could Hux not be taking this seriously. “Stop laughing it's not funny! What are we supposed to do?!” He wasn't ready to have a kid. He didn't want one. Rey and Finn might be ready for that but not him. He didn't have a fucking house with soap dispensers that matched the shower curtain.

  
Hux was only laughing harder though and he slid down to the floor, tears in the corners of his eyes as he tried to breathing properly. Kylo felt tears at his own his that Hux wasn't having the right reaction. “It's not funny!” he shouted again.

  
Hux nodded and took a couple of deep breaths, trying and failing to stop smiling. He was quiet for a moment as he looked up at Kylo and opened his mouth to say something only to start laughing again.

  
Kylo yelled in frustration and threw the stick at Hux, making him shriek and hit it away.

  
“Don't throw that at me you peed on it!”

  
“I'll throw it on you if I want because you're not taking it seriously that you fucking knocked me up!”

  
Hux stared at Kylo again before covering his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking with more laughter. He eventually got a handle on himself after taking a few more deep breaths.

  
“Kylo,” he said as he stood up, stumbling a little in his own drunk was. “Kylo, you're not– you're not pregnant, ok?”

  
“Oh so I just happen to have pregnant hormones in my piss but I'm not pregnant, ok sure.”

  
Hux rolled his eyes, still grinning. “No. Kylo. The test was negative. Look at the box,” he said picking it up and showing Kylo the back of it. “The blue line is negative, the red plus is positive. You're not pregnant you dumbass.”

  
Kylo's face felt like it was on fire as he stared at the little pictures of the positive and negative signs. The small text was hard to read with his vision half swimming but it was clear enough. The test was definitely negative and he was definitely not pregnant.

  
“Oh,” he said, embarrassment running through him hard and fast. “Ok. I'm just gonna. This didn't happen.”

  
Hux really did try his best to not laugh but it was impossible. He burst out laughing until he was crying and wheezing again and Kylo groaned and shoved at him to get out of the bathroom. They stumbled into the bedroom and Kylo flopped face first onto the mattress. Hux sat down next to him and ruffled his hair.

  
“I can't believe you actually thought you were pregnant,” he said laughing.

  
Kylo groaned and blindly swatted at Hux.

  
“Shut _up_.”

  
“Did you really forget that guys don't get pregnant?”

  
Kylo blushed harder. “I said _shut up_.”

  
Hux's laugh was still as annoying now as it was in the bathroom.

  
“Ok, honey. I'll let you be. I know how those hormones make you get.”

  
Kylo groaned again and pushed himself up so he could tackle Hux who shouted in surprise as Kylo threw himself on him and smothered him on the bed.

  
“I hate you,” he grumbled.

  
“No you don't,” Hux said patting his face and grinning.

  
Kylo huffed. He hated when Hux was right. 


End file.
